Anchors

It has been a while since I last posted. Emotionally I have slowed down significantly. For some time I have been running on an emotional high left over from the initial diagnosis. Life for good and bad has started to get back to "normal" (though nothing is remotely normal anymore). I was thinking early this morning that I have started to become one of those people that track time by doctors appointments, or treatments, or surgeries. Aughhhhh! I never wanted to be one of those types. I realized for me it was not at all an infatuation with illness (thank goodness) it is instead tangible and VERY REAL moments. Moments anchored by events that are easily remembered. We all do it. It is usually babies first steps, the last semester in college, or events like, right before I started my last job.....stuff like that. Unfortunately I have entered in with a group of fellow travelers that have other types of moments that mark a specific period or time in thier life. Stuff like, before the biopsy, after the diagnosis, during treatment, in between treatments, etc. Specific, very real moments in life. Unforgettable, and capable of drawing a very specific line in the sand. Separating the east from the west. A boundary of sorts. So be it. These are the tangible anchors of a life with illness. My goal is to not have them be the only anchors. In reality there is an entire life moving on along beside and around us with its own set of anchors. Those are the ones I choose to place a stamp on my life. Illness has its place in life. It is not life in its entirety. That little nugget of truth covers lots of other nasty things in life as well. Divorce. Job Loss. Addiction. Death. Fear. I choose different things to define the mile markers in life.